While I do not actually have real baby blues I do have general baby confusion and frustration.
Previous blogs were a lot about sleep or lack thereof. Now its about actually living and the day to day stuff. Such as; what am I doing wrong?!?!?! I have this very strange nagging feeling in the back of my head saying I am doing something wrong. I know that I wanted him to have zero TV growing up, but ya right! I mean he doesn't watch the kid crap. We watch grownup shows together. I have been told and have read that babies can see something scary on TV and it can make them have bad dreams or something. I was thinking though, a baby has no idea what is scary! they don't know that this guy getting his head cut off is bad. For all he knows the gabboo gabber or whatever other kid show shit is the devil. Anyhow I know that I maybe I watch too much on the TV, but I think I play with him a lot. I interact with him and talk to him, chase him down the hall. . . he still hasn't said momma, he babbles nonsense. He doesn't call his dad "dada" or me either. He says dada and sometimes we happen to be in the room, but he doesn't seem to be saying it to define who we are. It worries me.
"Having a baby will change your life forever" when you are having a baby you hear that A LOT from other moms, grandmothers and some dads. You read it and you see it and in general you know it. But how will it change? everyones life changes in different ways. I have found that loud noises bother me, and I cannot relax in my own bed, only on the couch can I really let myself relax. I have noticed a diet change, I eat less, sometimes faster, cause I don't have time to have a lot or to take too long. Little ones are not so good at being in one place too long. There are things that I refuse to compromise. I will not go out without makeup or in anything not clothes (sweats or p-jays) and. . . well that's all I can think of. . . and this is all I have the mental strength to write
