Parenting tip

always keep a picture of your child smiling or being sweet or silly somewhere you go at least once a day, like on the fridge or as the desktop wallpaper on the computer or the screen saver. . . I've found it helps to see proof of how wonderful William can be when he is being a little cry monster.

Sometimes I wish I was alone, like no husband, no dog, no baby, and no problems with drinking booze (for some reason one day my stomach decided it didn't want booze ever again) and I could just smoke smokes and drink beers by the river and not think of what to make for dinner or how much longer I can stay away before my  hubby runs out of milk for baby. . . and then I see William smile or he makes his dinosaur noise. . . and I know that I can't live without him, and then my husband will surprise me by taking the baby out just so I can have me time, or he makes me laugh till I almost pee myself. . . and I know that without him it would be just living not living a life. My point is, no matter what I wouldn't give up my boys for the world. 

oh, and I guess the dog is ok too.

into the wild blue. . .

I escaped the house without the tiny terror today! got some great new clothes that make me look like the mom that I am. In Wal-Mart I saw my good friend Crista, whose water had broken this morning. The doctor told her it was only "partially" broken and the baby was blocking the rest. So what else could she do but go to Wal-mart and get the last minute supplies that she won't want to go get for a few weeks. As her fiance cleverly stated "we're in Wal-Mart, if the rest of the water goes there are tons of towels and pants to choose from!" ha ha ha ho ho ho ho. 

Ever since I got onto Maternity leave I have been watching a TON of old shows (I dream of Jeanie, Bewitched, The Brady Bunch. . .) I miss old shows, not like I grew up with them. But watching them and they are so simple in their comedy and stories or completely out of this world in their stories, but at least it isn't  those tanned weirdos with strange names like "the situation" where are the Hillbillies, the large families or slightly off colour jokes?! (I love all races and creeds by the way) being tolerant and respectful is pretty awesome, but there was a special time in TV when they weren't being outright racist or bigoted, it was like everyone was free game and they were all treated the same. . . I don't think anyone should be persecuted for who they are EVER. At the same time I think it is worse to almost really point out that there are differences by tip toeing around any off colour joke. . . I don't even know if I am making sense anymore. . . oh well that is my heavy thought of the day.

the end of the day

Today I learned; to grin and bear it, not everything can get done in a day, that William will one day be able to understand English and I can ground him then, no matter what bad stuff happens tomorrow is a new day!

ewww that last one was DRIPPING with cheese!

anyhoo g-nite dad (he's the only one following me)

sleeep

I've put the lil caterpillar in his bed awake hoping that maybe he would figure out how to sleep all by himself. I get really worried that I won't be able to figure this out. My husband needs his sleep and HATES the sound of the baby crying. So I feel like I shouldn't let the baby cry ever, even though it seems like that works a lot of the time for a lot of people. Letting the baby cry that is. Many moms get pretty choked up when their baby is crying and they are letting them cry it out, not me, maybe I am just mean or hard on a baby of 4 months but my opinion is "you are safe dry and fed. . . now sleep you little poop head!" he isn't going to hurt himself in his crib. I think I may have to step out of my 1950's house wife head space and ask for my sweeties help. . . he is terrible at night, a bundle of doom and gloom. . . but I don't know if I can do this on my own. 

is it always wrong to want to revenge on a baby?

My son is beautiful, wonderful, sweet, and I love him more than anyone or anything. But that doesn't stop me from wanting to ground him for life for the way he keeps me up. Anyone else who did this to someone could be described as torturing a person, causing them to be sleep deprived. So that makes me think why haven't we evolved the right way so that we are connected to our babies in a way that makes sleep deprivation impossible? either naturally evolved or found a way for science to work for us! I hope that science is trying to find a way to read baby cries/ minds. If not science is a waste of time. Forget world hunger and curing disease science! I want to sleep and I want to sleep now!

and so I wonder

How should I be writing this? like a diary? or like an essay. . . ?

The more things change. . .

I am a new mom. My son was born on November 15th by semi emergency C-section. It was semi emergency because he wasn't in danger it just wasn't planned and he had no intention of coming out, or my body had no intention of letting him try. Its now been 4 going on 5 months. Being a mother and a wife is full of challenges; how to balance cleaning the house with cooking a well balanced meal and raising a baby. Its hard enough just taking care of the baby! William (my son) is demanding and charismatic. He wants it all and he wants it now, and you can't even be mad at him for long because he gives a smile that can melt ice. Every night is hard right now, he is old enough to sleep six hours at a time, but he won't. He can roll over and take rice cereal but he will be damned if he's going to let me sleep a wink! ok so that's a bit of a stretch. I can get a few hours here and there, enough to keep me from the funny farm but not enough to keep me from being a bit loopy.

Having a baby changed our lives in ways I didn't even know they could change. I like the dog a lot less now, and I know she doesn't always deserve it but she is the subject of misplaced rage. I live on the couch, almost never go to bed with my dear husband. Which breaks my heart, but at this stage there is no point in going to bed and then waking up to William in an hour and toting everything back out to the couch. . . I feel that in this respect I am a bad wife. I think if we were formula feeding then this wouldn't as big of an issue, I would wake up more to get a bottle ready feed him and put him back down. Even feed him in his own room. As it is I breast feed and that takes a comfy spot and a pillow or two for support, before I know it BANG! I'm asleep at the wheel, and by wheel I mean while William is eating. 

In the long run I'm happy to be a homemaker. I wish more women felt the same. I think it is what our youth need. Not the power moms that work and cook and clean. The moms that are home when they get off from school. The moms that are happy to cook and clean for their family. I don't mean that I won't teach my children how to wash dishes and do laundry and cook and clean as well, and not to say that my loving hubby doesn't help out in any way I ask him to. I just think that when a woman becomes a wife and mom her priority should be her home and family. That isn't for everyone, some family's can't afford to have the mom not working, or maybe the wife/mom just cannot wrap her head around staying home. Its not that these homes are any worse off or are the cause of all societies problems. Many homes with both parents working are happy well rounded and well fed. My concern stems from the stay at home mom being persecuted or even thought to be a victim of being behind the times. I think that some  traditional values are important and knowing who has what job keeps a home happy. For my family that means I take care of the baby, I clean, and I cook. My husband gets the money, takes out the trash and moves heavy things. 

Well that's enough ranting for my imaginary readers for now. I'm off to do the dishes! 

SUPER MOM AWAAAAAY

first blog

Whooo popping the blog cherry! don't have time to really say anything tonight. Its bath time for the baby and he is getting sleepy fast. Well one day maybe someone will read this and other posts.